Day 40 100 Freedom Breaths

As I continue the inner exploration there is a lot of learning taking place.  It seems the deeper I go the simpler things are.  Funny that being that the move through complexity reveals simplicity.  Below is a poem that I wrote the other day...

“Dark Shadows Pure Gems”

Was now many years gone by, upon the kitchen floor curled I would cry

Children asleep, stories been read, my hand wiped gently forehead

The cold floor, earth need, for from my house I could not speed

Stuck in a hole of misery, I limped through life deliriously

They could have been days where only children song delight

But know – I had created my own plight

The gift was given of dark void within to spin

For at the time I never knew the beauty of sorrow found within

It seemed an endless pit of blackness, broken dishes, money matters

I couldn’t have know the riches I would find until heart ache shatters

Within the pieces, all strewn around were delicate wealth

I tried, I cried, I stood, I fell, I held my focus to grow children health

The songs we sung open in joy during the day

Where weeping and misery when in bed I lay

Then all at once, I realise - it’s open heart wonder and faith blues skies

When breathing within I could feel alive, and know the soul never dies

Then within small things I began to find gratitude love and heart of mankind

My daily steps more purposeful then, it’s moment delight instead of a grind

Those days now I love, within my soul knows,

Without deep dark shadows, I never could grow,

I needed to feel to know this depth true for this is the potential of me and you

To create something from the broken of heart is to echo a light into the dark

This song is a joyful and beautiful one for I discovered the essence and spark

So now when its dark and cold anywhere – I know that its diamonds, gold, gems, earth rare

These gifts are a mystery how they are found, yet life is a miracle discover in prayer.

Faith and trust remarkable songs as the message of love expresses, pure heart gongs

(c) 2012 Karyn Janelle Davis

Day 37 100 Freedom Breaths

Moments pass if they are not experienced.

A vast many moments have past since my last blog.    Yet growth has continued.  I have faced many internal dragons, and can smile and say that each breath and each moment has been worth it.

I have learnt that these 100 are more powerful because of the intent to do them than even the idea or experience itself.

The layer upon layer of meaning that I apply in life remains until I realise its simply a meaning I have made.  Not the first time I have remembered this nor the last I can imagine.

As I have been peeling layer upon layer of stories away from my life.  I have been incredibly shocked by how simple and easy life has become.  In a flow of living the joy of living is showing up in my life.

I had a story so deeply told that I believed it even myself!   Its changed!  I giggle a wee bit realising it no longer served me.  And instantly it feel away.

I return to my 100 Breaths again to continue this 100 day blog.

Day 36 100 Freedom Breaths

A Moment Erupts

Yes - a weak moment, a day without completing my 100 Freedom Breaths.  A moment where I was caught up in delivering in life and didn't take time out!

All is well.  What an experience.  What a joy to sit here and know that while I was completely enraptured by an event and experiences, that my awareness was high and my joy overflowed even while things were difficult.

Yay for development.
Yay for knowing how to be present
Yay for the power of breathing.
Yay for life blood powering through
Yay for experience and joy
Yay for what is

Joy Your Ride

Day 35 100 Freedom Breaths

Rejuvenating Self

I was exhausted after a big day.  Nothing left inside of me but the physical shell of my body.  Well that's how it felt.

So I ran myself a bath, soaked into the luxury of the water and joyed in the feeling of softness upon my body.  Then I started my 100.  Simply enjoying the flow, in and out, nothing to do but breath and count.  Nothing to do but enjoy and be!

Yeeha the simply joyful pleasures of rejuvenating.

IT MORE THAN WORKED TOO.


Joy Your Ride

Day 33 100 Freedom Breaths

That Lovely Place

Everyone has that lovely place they love to escape to whether its a physical or a mental impression - they always feel free, revived and at peace.

I have a couple of physcial places I love to be, of course the beach rates highly (Raglan Beach), the Waikato River, or a lovely bath.  All including water, but I must admit when I can't "get away" I go in my mind to the top of a range of mountains where the wind is blowing my hair, I can smell the freshness and the vista enchants me.

These 100 Freedom Breaths continue to take me on my own inner journey increasing levels of relaxation, allowing and transformation to occur.

Now - when I simply think, "ok....going into the 100", I begin to feel what may be emerging within me, it could be a quiet settled present set, or a rigorous physical set, but each brings me to a deeper sense of delight and awareness of how I am functioning on this planet.  The barriers I have put up, or the illusions I have been living, or simply how un-present I had been!    Lost in thought, mind or activity and forgetting the beautiful pleasures of the moment by moment life we lead.

Clarity of Intent is a fascinating experience, its like I focus and everything becomes clear and then I go into life and I become a little foggy, a little unaware, more reactive rather than pro-active.  Yet I'm picking up on it faster than ever before and it only takes 3 - 10 purposeful breaths and I feel centered again and ready to experience life as a joy.

I'm grateful so deeply grateful to be experience the discipline of these 100 Days and I'm finding that some of the experiences that I have during the 100 sets I'm taking into my life.  Like the YES!   I'm using YES as a mantra at the moment the last number of days, I'm simply say YES, YES YES, over and over and it fills my heart with joy, and my body lightens, and it feels fabulous.

Into my day.

Joy Your Ride

Day 32 100 Freedom Breaths

The Storms of Life

The beauty of the storms of life is that they hold a moment where change can occur.  As the storm rolls in I now openly surrender to "what is presenting" rather than fighting the process.  They will come, they will go.  Life will blow and roar and rain down in its cycles where I can choose to enjoy.

More and more the enjoyment of a storm in my life, is allowing me to see that it comes and goes so quickly there is no need to get "all caught up" in it.  It's far more fun to experience the storm in a curious way, I discover that I'm far more open to seeing that there are somethings in life that aren't working and to let them go instead of justifying, blaming, holding on and stressing!

After every beautiful storm in life there is also that lovely moment when the sun comes out again!  There is freshness in the air, and the absolute delight of living takes over again.

Precious moments occur when I am curious and look for them.  The deepest storms in my life have ended up being the delicious learning moments.

A quiet 100 Freedom Breaths or a storm 100 freedom breaths, all allow me to simply become more conscious of myself and my playing out in the world.

Clarity of Intent is like sunshine.  

Joy Your Ride

Day 31 100 Freedom Breaths

Stop and Smell the Lavender 

Sometimes the freedom of life comes in the moments that are the simplest.   I know for myself its too easy to get caught up in the "events" of life and miss the simplicity of the small moments.   That beautiful feeling of the sun on your back, the lovely taste of fresh fruit, the delicious moment of exchanging a smile, the precious sound of laughter, the extra-ordinary delight of the smell of flowers.

Each of these delicate moments hold a presence that just is, that lovely experience of simply being.  That peaceful exquisite "I'm alive" feeling.    From this place it's much easier to create new ways of being, new experiences and new pathways.

The business of life otherwise gets in the way of new pathways.

Loving these 100 Freedom Breaths over the 100 Days.   The discipline is delightful, because it opens up a fresh way of living.

Joy Your Ride.

Day 30 100 Freedom Breaths

Breathe

Its all in the breath, life, expression, speech, oxygenation, everything that "keeps us alive".  And therefore the very subjective internal process that I am experiencing with these 100 Days, this year, so continuing to bring me to greater awareness that breath itself also holds some magical keys to releasing and bringing in new ways of being.

Today, I did my 100 immediately after work, I could feel within me a desire to continue the shift from the Day 29, and so I fell full on into the 100, excited to discover what awaited me.

It became very quiet internally, my mind almost stopped, and I recall thinking - "gosh its quiet".  Each breath drew me deeper into my body, yet more aware of my external space.

The delicious driving force of the 100 caused my body to shudder and move naturally following what I will call the flow of the energy of this 100.

I'm not going to continue too deeply in what I experienced, but it has awakened within again me same the depths that I was experiencing last year when I did two sets of 100 Day is a row.

It so delicious to explore the possibilities of new expression.  Waves of sparks that spun my system slightly differently, an incredibly deep connectivity to the earth and an expansion toward the sky, yet within my beingness, possibly body an inner depth that just kept going, and all at the same time I noticed space within my body, and a continual awareness of body organs, and the connectedness that my/our body is.

So my exploration continues, holding in place clarity of intention, and now also adding passionate curiosity!

Not pretending here that life is perfect.  Oh no - but a deeper acceptance to what is than ever before.
An awareness of story
An awareness of how other people do effect
Higher levels of intuition - almost to the point of having to stop myself talking too soon!
Dare I say - reading of other peoples images has developed quicker - and a little less language required
My healing hands are doing magic through them more and more
Yet still learning to live life.
Deal with my own "stuff" and being fully responsible and accountable is still a learning process.

So on I breathe!

Joy Your Ride

Day 29 100 Freedom Breaths

Playful curiosity

I have moments where I wonder what its all about, what the purpose is, why the game of life rolls the dice it rolls, how I am influencing - or whether its actually all going to happen any way.  And other moments where I feel fully empowered, at one and in alignment and free and loving this expression we call life.

It great to have the differences, the comparisons and the experiences.

My 100 Freedom Breaths yesterday were uncomfortable during the process.  But goodness I slept well!
Another moment of creating clarity of intent.  Another day now to joyfully play and consciously be curious about life.  

I read somewhere yesterday that sits with me even now the Albert Einstein said.  "I'm not particularly specialized in anything, but I am passionately curious."

Passionately curious - what a wonderful way to live!

Joy your Ride

Day 28 100 Freedom Breaths

YES

My 100 Freedom Breaths consisted of 100 yes's, if there is such a word.

Every in breath being present, every exhale - YES.

Honestly this is something that has no other words to explain it properly - if I tried it would be like trying to explain what chocolate cake tastes like.  Until you try it, its only an idea and theory.  The experience is where its all at, and only you will know if you like it or not.

Yes, I can tell you - its something I gently continued as I experienced my day today, because it felt so good!

I don't know about you, but I have heard a lot of No's in my life, and I say No far more often than I ever intend to.  No - I can't do that, or No I haven't done that or, No - I wouldn't do that.

I remember watching a movie - where the Hero could only say Yes!  It got him into a tonne of trouble, but it was a complete release too as he began to experience new things in life.

I also know that yes, is a very powerful state to be in, its good on the body, it releases wonderful chemicals into the body, it almost always puts a smile on ones face, and if Yes is causing me or someone else to own up to something its very powerful in its release.

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes - couldn't be more simpler really!

So YES!  having fun with breathing and Yes.

Till tomorrow
Joy Your Ride

Day 27 100 Freedom Breaths

The Pain or Pleasure of Growth

If I were a butterfly emerging from my chrysalis would it be comfortable?  I think not.   The stretch and breaking out of something that had held me while I transformed would also be a reason to not go any further.  But I'm also convinced - as there are so many butterfly's and babies born on this planet (the pain of child birth is another great example of this) that there is simply an inner knowing, a clarity of intent to break out from what was to what is....

These 100 Freedom  Breaths have truly challenged me in subtle yet powerful ways.  Questioning old belief's which I had not truly taken a look at before, and raising feelings that I have discovered distracting and challenging.   I had thought I had gotten over old stories from my past, and the truth is I had, but what surprised me immensely yesterday in my 100 was the new stories that I had replaced those old ones with.   I hadn't transformed the story into a magnificent way of living, no I had simply transitioned them, created a new story and a different perspective, but not an inclusive one, not a story that truly accepted what was and brought in a new way of being.  No I had almost rejected the old story!  Now there is something I'm giggling about, laughing at myself even as I write this, because the human condition, the mind, goes into survival mode, it works hard to adapt and shift so that it still has a place, so that it's importance is still mandatory!

The mind is a wonderful and powerful device and tool that we have, but its not me, its not you, we aren't our minds.  We have fabulous minds, however, perhaps like me, sometimes you have believed so strongly in what your mind is representing to you that you have forgotten (I certainly have) that is its simply a representation!  And I have lived that representation believing it to be true!  This is what I discovered deeply for myself in the 100 yesterday.   The mind established I no longer desired to have a story, so it quickly created another!  "Haha!  There you go", it said, "I'm working with you, you have let go of that old story!"
And then I discovered - it had just replaced a new one.  Fabulous stuff!

Oh well, the learning and pondering of another growth period.  I'm not certain we will ever truly be outside of story, but I do believe it would be wonderful to know that we are living through one instead of living through a story and not knowing that we are.

Have a fabulous day...and until tomorrow.

Joy Your Ride

Day 26 100 Freedom Breaths

Now

Yes every 100 Freedom Breaths helps me come back into this now moment.   Just this now.  I can create my future moving forward, or remember experiences from my past - any other time.

But when I'm in the 100 my only intent is to be clearly present and in this now moment.

Its a discipline, its a rigorous requirement by me to do it daily.

To every moment just become fully present, and then play with life.  Instead of drifting in and out of being asleep.

Its fun, its challenging and its me playing with life.  How many different ways can I do the 100?

Clarity of Intention, freedom of passion, joy of playful curiosity and lightening up!

What else?  What next?

Joy Your Ride

Day 25 100 Freedom Breaths

Laughter the Medicine for the Soul

The absolute joy of tummy jogging as you laugh.
Laughter is food for the soul
100 breaths, over these 100 days, is rattling things up inside of me and I'm having to face my inner stuck-ness and work through to clarity of intent, free my passion even more and joyfully play.  Its curiosity that is winning out for me right now!

If you feel like a giggle for nothing or some stimulation enjoy this laughing youtube clip.

Day 24 100 Freedom Breaths

Questions the Power of Life

I have more questions than anything today.

For what purpose do we not know who we really are?
For what reason is the mind so distinctly delusional?
What happens if we get through mind clutter - I mean really get through mind clutter?
Most games in life - at least there are rulz?  Which begs the question who set these ones?

I'm a thinkin deeply I know!

Joy your Ride

Day 23 100 Freedom Breaths

Practical or Mystical


Sometimes a touch of fantasy or mystical is all that is needed to revive the hope, joy and faith into a situation.   As I am exploring all of the different contexts of life, all the areas, and my responses to these area, I am noticing sometimes to simply change my perspective, all that is required is a deep breath and my full attention into the area, the energy that is held within that space will change and shift and adapt to a new contribution.  This new contribution of attention and presence is shifting and nurturing a new way of being into that area.  Releasing the old stuck energy of what I had coded an experience to be and releasing it to flow into a new experience.

The power of breath is magical, dynamic and transforms.   Every moment now is creating our future, so flowing energy allows the richness of an environment to be fertile.

I'm feeling deep discomfort today, following I don't know or anticipating I don't know.   I feel displaced and uncomfortable.   My energy feels split and shaky.   Perhaps there is a need today to enter the 100 Freedom Breaths with a clarity to align or re-align....or perhaps it is what it is and this will pass.

I certainly don't claim to know why I feel the way I do, the unknown perhaps, or the known perhaps.  Any which way, it is what it is and my breath and presence is the only thing that I have to keep me from running from myself.   Perhaps its the unearthing or unveiling of something for me to be aware of to own or to accept.

So in love and pure awareness of my body and energy discomfort I accept that change is occuring.

Joy your Ride - till tomorrow...Arohanui

Day 22 100 Freedom Breaths

The Joy of Playful Curiosity


I'm discovering more and more that its my approach to life that makes the new areas of discovery fun and joyful.   When I say this, Its not just about attitude, its a curiosity like a child, exploratory to the extreme, willing to try on new ways of being, like playing dress-ups, willing to taste a new experience in a new way, willing to feel into the depth of something with the excitement of what could be explored instead of the very easy adult solution of "oh I already know".

The 100 Freedom Breaths, with the flow of curiosity is leading me to willingly dive into the old known aspects of self in a more fun way.  Delving into possibility and accepting whatever I find as only one perspective, opening up multiple perspectives and beginning to realise that there are even more than I can even conceive.

I'm willing to hold that reality is like a dream, everything within the reality dream has a purpose for being there.  Every emotion, expression, feeling, sensation, event, person, experience and view that I have is purposeful and holds messages and is still only one way of perceiving the current reality.

When I come across another person who is also willing to truly put down their beliefs and values for the exploration of possibility we begin to play just like these beautiful dolphins, in harmony with everything around and tuning into even more possibility.

The joy of playful curiosity is becoming a wonderful way to explore the small and the big of life's experiences.

I wonder what else can be experienced?

Joy Your Ride.

Day 21 100 Freedom Breaths

A cute reminder that sometimes less said is the best.  I'm learning more and more that wisdom is when I say nothing, and in fact judge nothing and simply feel through any situation.  There is no doubt about the fact that we are sensory feeling beings, with magnificent minds and incredibly complex bodies.   All powered by some unseen force that permeates our entire being and is connected with everything and everyone.

How is it that we have believed so long that we are individual beings?  The beauty of the fact that for so long I have believed myself to be separate from everyone is the most glorious giggle.  It is true, on the face of it I am not you, you are not me, we have separate bodies, minds, lives, experiences, beliefs, values etc.

Yet on a deeper look, a deep exploration, with curious eyes that are willing to see differently than they have been trained to see, an entirely new world awaits.   This incredible illusion of separation has its perfect place, its a grand way to experience.  Its a blessed way to investigate how we create in isolated environments.  Its a truly glorious place to experience, especially with the inner knowledge and knowing that this apparently insular environment is still a part of the whole universe and its experience of itself.

I'm feel deeply blessed right now.  Grateful for the 100 Freedom Breath experience that is bringing me to face myself, my inner fears, my insular awareness's and the joy of this experience in the greater view of everything!

Joy Your Ride

Day 20 100 Freedom Breaths

The Power of Metaphor


Isn't it fascinating how life stories permeate through our lives.   Often its great to be reminded, and this is me reminding me too, that a metaphor isn't real, its simply a story we tell ourselves.  However that powerful story also influences us.  It leads and guides the mind to discover ways of relating within our lives to the internal story within our mind.

These stories may change and alter during our life course.  They can be powerful and useful, or derogatory and un-useful.

For the longest time one of my life metaphors has been about horses.  Having grown up with horses from a baby it makes sense that these metaphors are deeply embedded.     I also known where I am in a life situation within myself according to how I am riding my internal horse, saddle, reigns and clothes, or bareback, and without reigns.  I also know how I'm feeling about the path I'm on as to whether my internal story is hilly, through forest, water, along the beach or a road.   This will often reflect my experience of current situations in life.

If my horse is bucking and rolling its eyes and I'm struggling to stay on, I remember from my experience with horses to trust them and to give them head and to stop fighting the process instead to become one with the animal (life experience) and in a very short time, I discover I have accepted the circumstances in my life and I'm easily dealing with them again.

The 100 Breaths continue to be a way of surrendering to the flow and enjoying the ride of life, allowing me to have the best of life on a more continuous basis instead of being annoyed or fighting my own path that I have created.

The flow, clarity and conscious attention to the present moment is allowing me more and more to let go of the past, to embrace the now and to more consciously create the future.

However more and more I'm less controlling about how my future "should be", I'm trusting my inner creative juices to formulate new ways of being and new experiences.  This is dramatically different than how I had in the past been creating my life.   It is removing disappointment too, because now, I'm accepting more that the inner feelings I'm having are driving creations and my reality moving forward, so observing the feelings are a far more powerful way to observe future creations than attempting to know what is coded within the images that are being made!   Visualization is powerful, and is continuously occuring every moment of our day so the inner awareness of the emotions that are playing through the body are like a GPS system that indicates what is actually being visualized!

Fun stuff, all observations at this point, and still learning!

Joy your Ride!

Day 19 100 Freedom Breaths

Stretching

There is something simply fabulous about watching a cat stretch.   As I watched my two cats relaxing, playing, sleeping and stretching yesterday I noticed how they reserved energy in such a beautiful way.

As I was headed for bed last night I did my 100 Freedom Breaths, having observed the way a cat stretched, I too began to breath into my body and stretch.   Each and every limb, torso etc....(no need to carry on).  As I went deeper into the 100, the stretches became more profoundly releasing, I could feel the awakening of my body the oxygen going into all the spaces.  The breaths also extended out of my body too, an awareness of the space around me.

I find it fascinating the environments that we live within.  The obvious external environment which changes as we move through our day and the inner environment within the mind/body.   This is what I'm focusing on now.  Not content, beliefs, values etc etc.

The Environment!  Clarity of Intent and the effect of the environment both external and internal.    I'm also aware that we effect the environment around us....lots to be aware of.

Day 18 100 Freedom Breaths

The pure joy that I experienced last night as I was listening to raw talent, the voices of angels, the crystal clear sound of voices that touched every cell in your body as your listening!

I was so inspired and even brought to tears and then I added the 100, feeling the sounds within my body, enjoying the stretch and the relaxation as my body breathed.

What an incredible experience.  One that has so few words I'm not even going to continue blogging.  Its something that you can only experience for yourself in your own way.  What a joy a pure voice brings.