Day 29 100 Freedom Breaths

Playful curiosity

I have moments where I wonder what its all about, what the purpose is, why the game of life rolls the dice it rolls, how I am influencing - or whether its actually all going to happen any way.  And other moments where I feel fully empowered, at one and in alignment and free and loving this expression we call life.

It great to have the differences, the comparisons and the experiences.

My 100 Freedom Breaths yesterday were uncomfortable during the process.  But goodness I slept well!
Another moment of creating clarity of intent.  Another day now to joyfully play and consciously be curious about life.  

I read somewhere yesterday that sits with me even now the Albert Einstein said.  "I'm not particularly specialized in anything, but I am passionately curious."

Passionately curious - what a wonderful way to live!

Joy your Ride

Day 26 100 Freedom Breaths

Now

Yes every 100 Freedom Breaths helps me come back into this now moment.   Just this now.  I can create my future moving forward, or remember experiences from my past - any other time.

But when I'm in the 100 my only intent is to be clearly present and in this now moment.

Its a discipline, its a rigorous requirement by me to do it daily.

To every moment just become fully present, and then play with life.  Instead of drifting in and out of being asleep.

Its fun, its challenging and its me playing with life.  How many different ways can I do the 100?

Clarity of Intention, freedom of passion, joy of playful curiosity and lightening up!

What else?  What next?

Joy Your Ride

Day 25 100 Freedom Breaths

Laughter the Medicine for the Soul

The absolute joy of tummy jogging as you laugh.
Laughter is food for the soul
100 breaths, over these 100 days, is rattling things up inside of me and I'm having to face my inner stuck-ness and work through to clarity of intent, free my passion even more and joyfully play.  Its curiosity that is winning out for me right now!

If you feel like a giggle for nothing or some stimulation enjoy this laughing youtube clip.

Day 23 100 Freedom Breaths

Practical or Mystical


Sometimes a touch of fantasy or mystical is all that is needed to revive the hope, joy and faith into a situation.   As I am exploring all of the different contexts of life, all the areas, and my responses to these area, I am noticing sometimes to simply change my perspective, all that is required is a deep breath and my full attention into the area, the energy that is held within that space will change and shift and adapt to a new contribution.  This new contribution of attention and presence is shifting and nurturing a new way of being into that area.  Releasing the old stuck energy of what I had coded an experience to be and releasing it to flow into a new experience.

The power of breath is magical, dynamic and transforms.   Every moment now is creating our future, so flowing energy allows the richness of an environment to be fertile.

I'm feeling deep discomfort today, following I don't know or anticipating I don't know.   I feel displaced and uncomfortable.   My energy feels split and shaky.   Perhaps there is a need today to enter the 100 Freedom Breaths with a clarity to align or re-align....or perhaps it is what it is and this will pass.

I certainly don't claim to know why I feel the way I do, the unknown perhaps, or the known perhaps.  Any which way, it is what it is and my breath and presence is the only thing that I have to keep me from running from myself.   Perhaps its the unearthing or unveiling of something for me to be aware of to own or to accept.

So in love and pure awareness of my body and energy discomfort I accept that change is occuring.

Joy your Ride - till tomorrow...Arohanui

Day 17 100 Freedom Breaths

Bringing Awareness into the Present Moment

True to form the 100 Freedom breaths are continuously causing me to become more conscious of where my attention is placed, how I am attending to my life and other people.   I'm feeling more connected to my inner flow and the conscious awareness of where I am more and more often.  Not the "where I am" physically, although that is also becoming a more sensory experience, but the "where is my attention now", am I coming from my heart, my head, my fears, my inner essence, a place and space that is useful or a re-run of life.

These awakenings are allowing me to be more present and bring presence into the worries, concerns, fears and dramas of life.  My presence when it shines upon these situations, thoughts and feelings seems to change them dramatically.   In truth its probably only a little bit, but my transformation of these habitual patterns are dramatically altering the course of my attention, the freedom of my attention and therefore a higher awareness of whether I am clear with my intent.

This Clarity of Intent is allowing me to follow down new ways of being, exploring gently and subtly aspects of myself that have often been over looked, forced to remain quiet, or pushed down.

I knew in myself that the inner dragons, demons and shadows within my life would become highlighted through this 100, because the focus is about Clarity of Intent, and of course that immediately draws attention to anything that is taking me away from a clear and intentional path.

As I sit here now, I realise that over the last couple of weeks, I have had moments where I have had to face myself, old patterns that have played out and decide where to from there.  Presence, my presence brought into those moments has been the absolute best solution.  If I have gone into thinking and changing those or trying to outsmart or out think the patterns I have failed and have had to look at them again.  But the moment pure aware presence guided through the breath comes in, and an observing no judging, acceptance reigns, then the light of awareness has changed my path.   And more often than not, I have simply let it be, let that aspect of me have some air, in a quiet safe place within me fully bringing my intention, attention and energy into the one place.

Chemically I know this changes the density of the old energy.  For I can feel it.

Wow, it excites me even recalling through words these moments, because I can feel the lightness of my body as a result of showing up and being present.

I'm grateful and thankful for the 100, on the very basis that I continue to consciously breath more and more and more during the day.  I know breath is breath is air is air, but its doing something wonderful and causing life to become easier.

If you are participating In the 100, may you too experience your own joy of this very easy, simple and basic wonder.

Joy Your Ride.

Day 15 100 Freedom Breaths

Every day is a day to experience.   It all starts when we emerge from the depth of sleep, any dream that we leave is left in that place and we move into a more awakened place, sometimes the memory of the dream if the imprint is strong remains with us for a little while, often though the dream is left in the dream world and we can't even remember them!

Then as we go through our day we go in and out of various levels of awareness, in and out of our thoughts, sometimes completely immersed in our inner world where our attention is caught up in a situation, event or emotional experience.  Other times brought into the present moment because of another situation.

This multi-dimensional way that we live is fascinating.  The 100 Freedom Breaths have allowed me to become more and more aware on an ongoing basis of these shifts in attention, these movements from one trance-like state to another, these levels of awareness.

I am in awe with the power of our human development.  The levels of clarity from one trance state to another can become cloudy and distorted - even completely forgotten.   In one realm of thought I can be caught up in my identity as a mother or business woman or lover and have a complete disconnect from my authentic self in that moment.  Each identity shift seems to highlight a different facet of self, a different set of beliefs, past experiences and expectations.  In many cases each Identity has simply held its ground, building on its own belief of itself, sometimes using a starting pack from lessons when I was a child.

For example.  Relationships, I began with the Starter Pack the old already installed programmes from my parents relationship.   I entered into adult life and built upon that Identity around relationship without even thinking to question some of the programmes, the rules, the over-rides, the expectations, the "defaults" of this experience called relationship.   I think its so much fun now - looking at it.  Yet I completely acknowledge at the time of experiencing relationships that didn't work I simply believed it ALL to be true!

Lets investigate the difference when I'm aware of my own programmes, the effect of the Identity (ego) the make up of it, the structure and the role that its playing.  Now my authentic self, the true essence has a inner flow, an awareness to realise every thought, energy and action taken through that Identity is creating my future.  Now I am able to realise that I am none of these.  They are simply a set of programmes, rules, parts, values, beliefs and capabilities.  Not who I am.  Not who you are.

We are exquisite multi-dimensional beings and as we awaken to this, we can more consciously co-create together to explore new paths, new ways of being, new expressions of the God blessed potentiality that exists within us, the raw potential of creation.  The orgasmic excitement of bringing something new into our world.

Day 14 100 Freedom Breaths

Its a pure joy when I recall the interest of last nights 100.  I again decided to use another breathing technique that places full focus upon belly breathing, but this time in and out of the mouth.  Now even though my mind was a little hesitant I proceeded anyway.   They are fast breaths in for two and out for 1, so the 100 happened very fast.   Some parts of my mouth became dry, but as I was also participating fully the saliva formed quickly as though I was talking about something delicious.

Have you ever noticed how when you are in an argument your mouth goes dry?  This is especially true when its something you don't like talking about.   In contrast when you are loving a conversation your mouth will fill with saliva.   Look at little babies, when they are exploring the world through taste, they dribble a lot.  They are excited about their own explorations!

My body tingled nearer the end and as I chose to do the very energetic 100 before I went to bed I wondered whether sleep would come easily.  To my pure delight as I lay processing the experience and taking myself off to sleep my body responded very quickly.

So that's the what happened.

My musings of the journey of Clarity of Intent has evolved to begin to notice more fully where my attention is being placed.  I'm becoming clearly more aware of my thoughts.   If they are off into something that has already happened often my body becomes tense and it becomes boring!    When I purposely become attentive to the present moment and to newness and creation and becoming and evolving there is a deep sense of excitement.  Its like all my cells in my body are smiling like a field of sunflowers.   So I instantaneously know that that state for the body is a healthy state.  Alert, interested and happy.

Talking about happy.  There was years and years in my life where I simply wanted to be happy.  I gave up that in about 1998.  Since then I have realised that happiness occurs in the moment.  It is something that naturally occurs when the mind and body aligns.  I have had so many clients that I have worked with who have been in the search for happiness.   It's an interesting search, because as long as they are looking outside of themselves, they will never truly find it.

Our human nature is to search, to explore, to create, to evolve.  Our human condition is to believe our own stories and illusions that the mind has developed.   Human nature seeks moments of ecstatic, exquisite urgency, where as the human condition wants to be happy.

I know which one I'm choosing more and more.

Joy your Ride! 

Day 13 100 Freedom Breaths

Whatever life brings, there are moments where our true authentic self quietly with exquisite subtle power says.  "This way".   I know for myself I may have tried to do my own thing and still its like I keep going on a round about coming to the same choices.  And eventually I go down the path that seems the least well trodden the least lite, but the one to take anyway.

The exquisite joy of going into the unknown a new way of being down a path that is new, is the joy of living on the edge of creation.  In a realm that is awaiting exploration and a new becoming of self.

In the inner reflections of our being, in the interconnectedness of oneness there awaits co-creation.  Something I have studied for over 15 years, and I still stand in awe of how we co-create together.  What is it that draws one to another, circumstances to oneself and opportunity to become at every moment of every day?   How is it that sometimes my robotic self continues to build barriers and concerns, worries and drama's when they are all an illusion and I for moments in time believe them to be true?   For what purpose does this illusion feel like a reality so real that its fixed?  For what purpose do I allow disillusion to take hold?

When we are gifted with such magnificent opportunity for exploration and pure potent creation - how come the hum drum of habituated patterns take precedence instead of the magestic becoming of life?

Perhaps this is the awakening state.  The trances of life that I have lived have varied immensely dependent on how much responsibility I am willing to take for all of life's realities.  The deeper and more somber the life drama - the deeper the trance I was in.  The awakening from those places have been an extremely interesting path to walk.   Like the awakening from a deep sleep where I had been dreaming and believing my dream to be real, and as I came through the veils of sleep into the more conscious awareness, there was a disoriented experience.  One of not knowing which one was real.  Of not knowing whether one could really only have been a dream, and the discovery that morning wakefulness is a place of potential has made me aware that the trance, asleep dream states have left some energetic memory that I am at choice of to either re-create and focus upon - or completely let go of and enter with excitement into the moment of creating our future.

Much to ponder on - and although I'm still learning and beginning to express, I am excited by this metaphor. For is being awake simply awakening from the attachments of illusions and "dreams" of what we thought were real?

Perhaps!

Joy Your Ride

Day 12 100 Freedom Breaths

Its not autumn here in New Zealand yet, but it was very much for me in the 100 today.


I allowed myself to become unconscious too much this weekend.  I ate and drank food that I know does not feed my "best awareness" levels.  And that's ok, I choose to do that.


And during my 100 just now, I was very much just becoming more aware of my body, taking in the moments of my energy areas that were a little blocked a little sluggish and little murky.  And so as each breath entered,  it drew me to where I needed to shine a little light, draw and oxygenate and replenish and love.


Simple, easy and kind.   Gently paying full attention as each breath exhaled, noticing the shifts and changes, really just being, preparing myself to be able to more clearly participate at a conscious level again.  Bringing out the awake playful side, designing the necessary patterns to remain awake.


My version of life, is that we are all here to evolve and its takes everyone to participate and be present and be involved in life and the greater aspects of life as a oneness - not as a singular soul having its traumas and dramas. I know that people are all in the place they are in. I know that we all have our own life experiences to consider and I also know when someone is vastly aware of their spiritual nature, that it is then their duty to be a part of life on this planet, to be very much a grounded spirit being working diligently to perform our part that we are playing in moving toward enlightened beings who walk here on this planet in joy and peace and harmony with what is, ever present allowing newness to occur.


My path in life is very sure, I am joyed by people and who they are in their ease or dis-ease, I'm also open to most ways of being, still working to accept the spirit beings who are thinking they are separate from others - the ones who are seeking another being to fulfil themselves, when deep inside we already are whole, we already are complete. We already are divine beings playing in a field of matter and experiencing the joys and sorrows of our perception that that is all there is.


Sometimes we experience great pain or suffering or loss in our lives and this is the Opportunity for us to truly deeply and significantly release ourselves from our own life drama's, yes there are lessons inside of these experiences, and most of all there are moments to realise its the story we have been telling ourselves that actually provides the opportunity for the imprint to occur.   


I like ease in life, I have no interest in attachments and energy interactions that continue to feed our individualised experience. 


So with the awakened playful side of becoming I fully accept my life as it is and as I have created it.


I completely acknowledge that the 100 allows the becoming of us over and over, and I also recognise the power of the 100 Freedom Breaths to simply allow me to awaken again to the full beauty of life.


Joy Your Ride

Day 6 100 Freedom Breaths

6 February 2012 - Waitangi Day

I simply knew from the moment I decided to do today's 100 breaths that it would be a movement one!  I felt the internal movement and flow instantaneously and as I walked into my lounge I felt the power of change surging inside of myself.    I kicked my jandels off, and I felt the surge of nature through our heart rimu floor, the cold wood on my warm feet, and yet the life within it.    From experience of these types of 100's my feet instantly secured themselves hip length apart and my arms spread wide, my little inner-self kinda shuddered with the thought!  "Here we go..."

By the second breath my body was already moving to an internal rhythm, shifting my weight and discovering the balances and imbalances within my body.  At first I felt a sharpness with the inhale, a forcefulness, a need to overcome the resistance of letting go.  There is a moment here each time when I can choose to jump into the unknown or attempt to control and consciously make sense of what is occurring. This momentary decision played on a couple of breaths, but my intent and body had obviously already had a discussion and had already decided!  It was already exploring and following the energy shifts and strands in my energetic space, my mind and ego may have had some idea to remain in control, but the energy and intention of the 100 was coming full force both from within and outside.   Then there was that moment, blessed suspended moment when I surrendered into the process itself, trusting at exquisitely deep levels as I explore and delve into the known and unknown regions of our inner being.

The dynamic entry is often - as was this one, a full force ride through the atmosphere of energetic uncertainty, up-ending and unnerving to the delicate balance of the sane mind.   My hands discovered the energy lines and threads of where to follow and they worked within the energy dislodging with rapid friction and movement feeling the unseen, and entering into the realm of vibration, this was not so gentle on my body as it senses the vibrational flow and moves in harmony and response to this interruptive energy that forcefully awakens sleeping stuck-ness and dry deadened un-oxygenated parts within me, for as these are dislodged the space around them begins to awaken the creative equal to the energy my intent is calling.

As the two energies circulate and meet each other my body vibrates at increasing speeds, the contrast to any dulled matter (I call them old patterns) that has hardened is sought out and the new energy seeks to engage it to reawaken to a new level.   As breathing is my only conscious way of staying present I face the inner aspects of myself with full attention.  Those previously unowned and rejected aspects of me are drowned with my full presence and attention. This seems to awaken them and their energy shifts and mingles with the pure energy that flows through the stimulated energy vortex that my hands are applying friction too.    A sweep of energy surges into my body filling me with a new sense of myself I feel the internal disruption completely.  A good descriptions is like pouring tonnes of fresh water into a bucket that is full of muddy density.  As the pure fresh energy floods my system the moments of confusion continue and all I have to hold onto is the count and  breathe at this moment completely taken by the surge of the flow.  In truth the best way to label this feeling is orgasmic, on every level.  

This continues and then subsides slightly - a calm and gentle rhythm lovely and quite....for a moment.

Somehow - I do not know what leads, my hands and arms begin to work with a new vibration and the rhythm changes this time spinning the vortex in a different way interfering with how it was moving previously, this new direction places me into a new choice - Will I?  Can I? Am I willing to trust the process to the next level?

Another deep breath, this one again forced as I make my choice, I feel the sharp exhale, the choice is made and a loud and intrusive burning clouds my head area, the force pushing in upon my entire being an intense vibration that seeks to squeeze me out of current knowing.   As this continues I draw in a very conscious breath to accept the intense pressure that is coming from every side - it feels as though my head will explode or even perhaps implode, then just as I'm overwhelmed, before me, in my inner eye I see a deep dark passage - that seems to extend into the depths of the universe (quite honestly I'm both elated and hellishly nervous at the same time).  If feel as though I'm being sucked into this vortex my intention is seeking something, something that is there within the nothingness of space.  

How is it that my hands know what to do?  How is it that my breathing rapidly shifts and begins sucking from the vortex?   My sane mind seems to be peaked in attention.  Every attention particle within me is focused upon this place - this unknown edge of creation.   My whole being, mind, body, emotion, led by my out of conscious clear intention begins to draw into itself whatever it is that is down that vortex.   A part of my sanity is incredibly challenged and even though I swing in and out of conscious knowing perhaps led by my breath, there is an aspect of me that is scared, probably challenged would be the correct word, challenged by not knowing what it is, having to continue trusting the process, surrendering to something far greater than me, placing complete faith in evolution and expansion no matter how bewildering it is for the ego and controlling patterned mind.

The intensity of the pull of this is hard on my body.  I feel my feet gripping to the floor, my pelvis and hips are moving and drawing too, my hands are pulling at invisible energy strands, and to be really honest for a moment as I observed myself from a space of ego consciousness I felt I could be from the legend of Maui.  

I'm being honest when I say that I still have no idea what I was pulling but every aspect of me; my intention, attention, purpose, focus and will was engaged one hundred percent.    I fell into the flow again and this continued my hands drawing with fascinating strength and purpose every inch of my body participating.  My muscles where taut I could feel the pressure from the other end, the inner space of the unknown being pulled at, being called in - what was on the other end I did now know - but I knew it was important.  

Then the energy changed directly and easily it was brought to the surface.  I felt the thrill as the edges of the energy touch my energy and I experienced a flood of overwhelm and excitement as I knew it was coming into my space - or I into its space.   My energy and body began to welcome its presence - this unknown, this bewildering newness, the excitement of something drawn from the depths of the creative evolving universe.

My count was still continuing - remember this is what keeps me in place.   I'm at 97 and only just beginning to feel the rapture of experience, only just beginning to explore this new energy as my count continues a joy that is extra-ordinary to experience overwhelms me.   My body again becomes organismic shuddering with pure delight, energetic and emotional pleasure.  100, and I'm so not finished!  

No more count required, I bask in the continued vibration of energy through my body, my body continues to integrate this vast newness.  A new creative expression of self drawn from the collective universe its self.  I'm in joy of our beings, I'm in joy and appreciative even now as I write - knowing there were others pulling this new evolution into our world with me.  I'm in true awe of trusting the process of life and creation its very vibrant energy that is ever ready to express in truly new ways.

Eventually I bring the energy into my space and awareness and now I will explore what this new possibility is, what this will bring into the regions of exploration and creation.   I break from the continuing 100 as I feel the settling within and around me and my physical needs call, for water and food.

Well - so there we go for the first time - I share as much of an experience as I can.  Every 100 is vastly different when it gets to this level - there are some patterns that occur with regard to my body awakening and integrating - but the energy and exploration each time is its own expression.  I feel very honoured to have trusted myself enough a year ago when this process started to occur.  I still feel very honoured to again reach into the inner realms of the unknown and delve into the merging exquisite expanse of who we really are.   I feel very honoured if you have read this blog for your time and attention.

I do not know where this is all leading - all I know is that I have started another journey, this time with the courage to track it, this time with the need to capture it, this time with an urgency that is as significant as the last, but this time with such a compelling desire to evolve that I shudder in excitement as I even bring the intent into my awareness.

Thank you fellow breather, fellow co-creator,
Breathing with you
Joy Your Ride

Day 4 100 Freedom Breaths

4th February 2012

Discovering the power of Attention will transform a life


Attention is such a fascinating thing.   Have you ever been on a bike riding along and then looked over your shoulder?  What happens?  You know!  The bike begins to change direction, ever so slightly, but it does and then the curb comes exceptional close, or the middle of the road is all of a sudden upon you!  


A quiet 100 this morning, peaceful and flowing, easily discovering the inner realms of my body and being, exploring the nature of how I'm made up.  Effortlessly enjoying the process of life itself as I lay consciously observing the ebbs and flows of thought and attention.

Yes attention is a powerful thing.   Another thing I have noticed is when my attention is focused or stuck on a situation, and even though I may be present in a room and a little voice (my kids) is chattering away yet my mind is obsessed with a thought.  All attention is placed upon the thought, the movie in my head and the unfolding of this thought.   And then I get jolted with "MUM...your not listening!"  Oh that right, they are so right!  I had my attention placed internally and there was none outside of me.  Now with my attention placed on me, the choice sits with my conscious attention to be replaced upon them.

Mmm....interesting ever had a business meeting and someoneelses attention is placed upon something that is not adding to the meeting?  Frustrating?  Oh it can be.   Or in that same meeting everyone appears to be participating well at least with their body, yet a question is asked that demands an answer and no-one responds.  Again attention is the key.

A school teacher in a classroom knows this and will same something like "Attention please".  There is so much power in that statement.  So much wisdom.   "All attention here please"   This majestic power of attention directs a human beings awareness into a focused place.  Without the focus upon something specific the person  will simply apply habitual robotic like behaviours as they are wrapped up in their internal world.

As we focus here for a moment upon the significance of your attention - a question may arise.  Where is your attention now?  Why is this important?  Because where ever your attention is placed will make a huge difference in how you act out in the world.   Lets say you had just had an argument with someone.  Its likely that much of your attention is still placed upon the situation, the argument.  This will mean that your potent energy is attached to something that has already happened and therefore continues to keep the argument alive.

Your attention literally feeds the good and bad experiences that you have in life.  I know this to be true for me, as my life unfolded with different experiences I have learnt to realise I was creating those "dramas" through where I was placing my attention!   Attention feeds the wolf, the thought or the emotion.

When we are awake - truly awake not just moving about life.  We are then in a situation where we are responsible for our attention.  Then the power of attention begins to reveal itself.

When I do the 100 breaths I get to discipline my attention to understand its habits and I get to begin to focus with purposeful intent as I move through life.

Wow:

The power of the breath!
The power of attention!
The power of you in your awakened state is devastatingly amazing!

Breathe freely my friend
Joy your Ride