So often in my life I get to this point. This internal reflective point where something (doesn't really matter what the trigger) has occurred and I decide to take an internal journey into what has attracted an experience into my life.
Good, bad or otherwise, I am a deep believer in the fact that every occurrence is a reflection of things I have somehow drawn in, rejected or called upon in some way. For no matter what happens I always sit in a choice moment. A place where I can either react or respond, or go into cause and change the situation.
I haven't always been so aware of this, sometimes it used to be every number of months I would kinda wake up in a situation and realise that I was responsible. Now almost daily I get to those points. And I celebrate the beauty of it, and I can also say sometimes I feel a little inner annoyance - because it would be "lovely to pretend I'm not responsible". Oh however to face everything with my eyes wide open, my heart open and to listen to the quiet still voice of my authentic self takes conscious choice. It demands of me to still my random thoughts, to stop the internal chatter of story and to let go of the strings of pretend control. It requests of me to go quietly within myself and ask a useful question to direct my mind.
"How would my authentic self become within this situation?"
Silence reigns instead of an answer. My brain and mind had developed patterns that were rutted deep in reasons, justifications, illusions and fantasy, blaming others, refusal and denial. For old questions used to run like "Why....why is this happening?" Well there is a library of answers for that a museum of technological art and theoretical answers to "WHY?" But I don't want those answers, they keep me running through a muddy valley, and sinking into the ruts of the problem instead of sitting on the mountain for authentic contemplation, quiet in the awareness of the much larger picture, the quantum exquisite becoming that we are all participating within.
So the far more useful authentic truth was just a guiding feeling, an awareness I Must BE Responsibile, face everything and lead with Clarity of Intent.
So I still sit quietly upon this mountain, and as I do in full presence the breeze of intelligent life moves my hair and touches my sink. The vistas of pure universal beauty can be explored, the touch of the current now reality is here.
It is me that will bring the rattle and hum of the busy mind, or the screech and rumble of the vehicles of old thought that whisk around a city of illusional mind.
I sit in choice - either the beautiful mountain or the busy city. I sit in choice. I know which one my authentic self has already chosen...
Joy your Ride
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