5 February 2012
Even though I was tired and slow today, I still held Clarity of Intent to experience the 100. I ran a bath and soaked within the warmth of it. As I did I started to consciously breath. Each breath circulating through my body. My lazy mind darted in an out of the familiar and I lost conscious count at about 15 for a number of breaths. When I realised I re-focused and purposefully attended to breathing and feeling the power of presence...
It's so easy in life to go into robotic mode. To be completely unaware as we move through our day, doing tasks and responding to life. It's so easy to let the mind simply wander in and out of thoughts and getting taken through the myriad of webs of the mind. I noticed that this meandering is often with content that has already occurred and plays over like an ad running and re-running on the TV, one thought leading to another and another, I'm sure it has purpose? Well actually I'm not sure, I feel when I'm in a lazy and unaware state that it is simply noise, mind noise which is familiar and easy.
I'm the first to admit that my mind muscles are what I would call lazy. They keep running through similar patterns, going over easy already walked and screened experiences, documentaries within my mind that I'm updating and reinforcing. Why I ponder....
In this moment now I just realised why that occurs (well for me) as the images build I assign emotion (connection) to them, now this I admit has been an unconscious process even though done with expertise by my powerful mind. However in this moment I realise the purpose of it.
The emotions feed the energy of the thought, and this then builds the thought into something more substantial. As each thought runs through - supposedly carelessly, I then acquire the necessary values and beliefs that will build the energy of the thought. The constant re-run from various angles begins to build a collective of experience. Goodness I'm in awe right now! Thats it - what incredible beings we are. This thought energy then grows and as it is re-run again, it will then be assigned to other experiences - either real or imagined to build a complete system of knowledge within myself of this type of experience.
Let me give an example: Lets say it its an argument, (by the way - had or not had yet). The playing through of this "argument" will begin to attract emotions that back up an experience - forward come some options (normally old borrowed beliefs I would imagine) that feed into the thought, these emotions then draw attention to the situation and values and beliefs show up to be chosen to support the current perspective. Now I know that at the time I'm not aware of this process within me - I'm simply Doing what I do, CREATE!
I'm seriously very excited right now - just having been through this thought. Ok back to the "argument" at hand. (because that's what the mind would do), now its had time to collect an entire library of resource that will continue to feed that "argument situation" the playing over and fine tuning of tone of voice and facial expressions of the person, feeds into the thought energy and draws even more emotion and a complete string of connection, beliefs and values - this "hardens" the experience to put into play a reaction. We will then either act out this "argument creation" or store it for a later date!
Fascinating! Simply glorious. Love it.
So I'm wondering - keeping in mind the purpose of these 100 Days of 100 Breaths and the purpose to increase and begin to understand Clarity of Intent what else I can learn as each breath allows space to evolve!
PS posted the day after (oops time flew by yesterday)
Breathing with you
Joy Your Ride
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